Roses Can't Survive Winters
by TopazScorpio2
Summary: What if Ruby hadn't transitioned so well to Beacon. What if she hadn't been accepted into her team. What if she had fallen apart. What if she was pushed to the brink and stared over the edge into the darkness. This fic like so many others tries to answer those questions. (Oneshot)


**Roses Can't Survive Winters**

**RWBY belongs to RoosterTeeth, I own nothing. Yadadadadadada, Enjoy.**

Her team hadn't noticed her in such a long time. They hadn't looked at her, cared for her. Her own sister hadn't hugged her or even held her in what felt like forever. She could barely remember those hugs anymore. All she could vaguely remember was the warmth. They had felt so warm and comforting. She'd been cold for so long now. She even missed how Weiss would give out to her. They at least had a connection back then. Now she interacted with Ruby with indifference like Ruby was just an ant who could die or live and it wouldn't matter to her in the slightest. Every time they talked Ruby felt like she became smaller every time and that she wasn't needed for the team. Blake had opened up to them so much in the beginning. Ruby had felt like she was really helping her but as time went on, she realised something. She didn't confess to Ruby, she had confessed to her team Ruby had just happened to be there. Ruby hadn't realised something at first but as time went on, she noticed it. Blake actively avoided her and only ever seemed to confide in Yang and Weiss. She would stay in her little groups with her own team and even on occasion JNPR and SSSN. But never Ruby. Whenever she had tried to connect with her Faunas teammate, she had been shown the cold shoulder and Blake would get away from her as soon as possible. That's when the coldness had first seeped away and she only felt numb. All Ruby would be left with was her shattered attempt and more loneliness. So she stopped trying because she couldn't take being shattered even once more. That was the only thing she could rely on these days to be there for her. Loneliness.

It was always there for her. When she awoke, when she ate, when she studied, when she fought, when she rested her head to sleep at night and even when she was surrounded by bustling, busy and happy people going about enjoying their lives. Jealousy used to hang off her like a stink as well but eventually that left her as well just like everything else. She was jealous of how other people could be happy but now she just felt like they lived in another world. Something she wasn't allowed to touch, like she was looking at the world through a window. Maybe she just wasn't important enough. Not even JNPR seemed to notice her. The kind and caring Pyrrha never saw her sadness or gave her, her help. Maybe she wasn't worth her kindness or even her pity. The ever-observant Ren didn't even notice so maybe there was nothing for him to see, maybe Ruby was just being her usual stupid and selfish self. The joyful friendly Nora never tried to be her friend, maybe because she was not worth anything as a friend. And Jaune only ever seemed to see her when he needed help. Maybe that was all she was here on Remnant for, to help others and nothing else, even if she was useless at that. Not even the kindest people who helped everyone they could, could see her.

She had hoped maybe when she came to Beacon, she had hoped her fighting skills would help her get together with people but no matter who she beat or how many Grimm she cut down her peers never looked past her age. She was nothing more than a kid or a nuisance. She missed her friends from Signal. They had understood her. They had embraced her, been her friends, been there for her. She had silently cried herself to sleep so many times just looking at pictures or texts from them of all the new things they were doing and enjoying, all the new experiences and people. She just wished she could go back to them. Go back to signal. Go back to the way things used to be when she was happy. But she couldn't could she. Time travel wasn't real and they had surely already replaced useless her with someone so much better. The workload didn't help. Two years of work to catch up on, and all the extra work she had to do as leader or just to be in Beacon. Her brain was always so tired and sluggish from having to keep up with her workload and everyone's expectations. At the end of the day all she had by her side was her loneliness and fatigue.

She had hoped when she went home maybe her relationship with Yang would go back to normal but Ruby quickly learned there was a new normal. Yang had spent the whole Summer with either Blake in Menagerie or with Weiss in Atlas. Her Dad had been off on missions the whole time leaving her alone in the house. She had clutched to the straws that she could have Zwei as her best companion but Yang had even taken Zwei with her. Ruby had nothing to do but spend all day training but she couldn't train all day long (no matter how much she tried to) and she was left with so much time to just sit and wallow in her misery.

By the time she went back to Beacon she had given up hope of things getting better with her team. When she had first come to Beacon her silver eyes had glowed brightly and filled with hope but now as she re-entered a year later you wouldn't recognise them, they were like a dull steal. And now as it was Christmas time and everyone was off enjoying the festivities, Ruby sat on a bench out in the cold avoiding all the happiness that others got to enjoy. She had lowered her aura on a whim, or something else had pushed her to do it. Something deep inside her. As she sat in the bench, she felt the snow fall on her skin. She felt the ice-cold air bite her and burn her skin and extremities. It felt nice to feel that burn. To fell something at all that replaced the numbness. To feel something that wanted to envelope her and swallow her whole. She liked the thought of that. Her lips turned up at the edges and she giggled for the first time in a long time. In what felt like decades. She liked the feel on her bare skin. She deserved to enjoy this right. She removed her boots and leggings first. Then her corset and her bra leaving her top bare. then her skirt and panties leaving her bare. For each piece of clothing that left her body she felt the weight of her expectations, duties and failings go with them. Except for her cape which remained lying on her shoulders like the hands of someone who cared for her. But she didn't wrap it around her or use it to protect her from the freezing weather. Because they were like a second pair of hands embracing her. It felt nice to be enveloped again, to be wanted by something. She sat there nearly bare as the day she was born and let nature envelop her like she was its child. She never rose her aura or tried to fight it off. She shivered and sneezed, goose bumps ran across her body and her already porcelain white skin became ever paler somehow. She knew where she was headed in the back of her mind but why stop she thought. I won't be missed, my absence will change nothing. There was nothing for her anymore but suffering. She was a weight on humanity. So why not drift off peacefully into the snow. The snow that was accepting her like no one else had. That sounded so nice and peaceful. She was going to treat herself just this once and only this once.

She could faintly hear joyous sounds from the festivities probably from her old friends they had always been the loudest and the happiest at least when she wasn't around and for once she didn't care, for the first time the sound didn't hurt her or break her heart as it had so many times before. As she sat there, she accepted and came to peace with herself being alone and closed her eyes let out one last big breath that turned the air in front of her misty and let her body succumb to the cold as she drifted off happy, genuinely happy for the first time in what had been forever for her. She was found hours later by blonde, white- and black-haired trio of strangers with a smile on her face they had never seen the likes of before.

**First Fanfic, any criticism welcomed and thank you for reading.**


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